"Tying Up" a Plan

Parents need to agree on a plan for sharing emotional and financial responsibility for the children, as well as for sharing time with the children. In order to accomplish these goals, it is necessary for the adults to put the child’s best interests first.

This means that each parent considers the children’s needs and feelings. Ideally, parents understand that they must shift from a husband-wife relationship to a parenting-partner relationship, which involves a major shift of focus from each other to the children.

While parents need independence and flexibility when exercising their rights as parents, children need stability and balance, in addition to a positive and loving relationship with each parent, whenever possible.

The parents who do the best for their children think about the following:

• Contributions children can make to the family (chores)
• Consistency in family rules and expectations
• Clear, fair, predictable consequences if family rules are broken
• Consistent times for meals, bed, play, homework… if possible.

It is a good idea for parents to seek the help of a mediator, if they are unable to agree on a satisfactory parenting plan. The children are worth it. The reward for the parents is equally valuable. Parents report that the cooperative relationship they have developed for the sake of the children pays off later in countless ways.