Dear Mom and Dad: Stuff I Wish That I Could Say

Where are you? Where did you go? You used to smile at me.

You never really look at me – or really listen to me any more. I try to get your attention, but you are always too busy. You already have so many worries and problems that I am afraid to bother you.

Your fighting scares me. I wish I didn’t have to hear it.

You always tell us kids that we should work things out because it isn’t nice to fight. But you are always yelling--and putting each other down.

I am afraid of the future, because I don’t know what will happen next.

I worry that if I tell you how I am feeling, that you will get mad or cry.

Some moms and dads go to counseling. Did you try that first?

When you say bad things about my other parent, I get a headache or a stomachache. Sometimes I feel like screaming or running away or doing something really bad.

It is so hard for me to concentrate on my schoolwork. I don’t even feel like trying. What’s the point?

I get in such bad moods that my friends don’t want to talk to me any more.

Just because you are not together doesn’t mean that I should have to be “divorced” too. I love both of you and need you both in my life. It isn’t fair that I can’t live with both of you.

If you are not fair, why do I have to be fair?

My feelings are all tangled up. Please take care of me again. I miss you.

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Children and teenagers who experience their parents’ divorce or separation typically go through various phases of feelings and thinking just like these. If you believe that your child may be affected in any of these areas, you can contribute to their healthy adjustment to the re-structuring of the family. Take some time to consult the resources on this web site, including the Parenting Quiz and the Family Ties and Knots videos that are available for viewing.You can also find excellent reading materials about the effects of divorce on children, or attend an appropriate class, support group or short-term counseling.

It might be very beneficial to consider attending the Parental Conflict Resolution class offered by Family Support in the Clerk’s office in conjunction with Family Court’s Conciliation Services.

There are many effective resources available in your community that can help you help your children.