Be Careful to Be A Grown-up

Some parents respond to divorce with a sense of renewed freedom. This can provide an opportunity for growth and change or it can be a time of regression and irresponsibility. Make sure that you are acting like a grown-up during your divorce. Monitor your behavior.

• Be careful to keep your dating outside of the children's lives until you have a serious long-term partner.
• Don't introduce your children to partner after partner, dating may be fun for you, but it can be confusing for your children.
• Spend social time with your friends, but not to the exclusion of your children.
• Be very careful who you leave your children with. Sometimes getting divorced lowers our defenses and allows us to put our children at risk with neglectful or dangerous people.
• Listen to your instincts.
• Remember your children depend on you, their needs come first.
• Watch any resurgence of your "adolescent self." If promiscuity, risk taking or irresponsible behavior surface, seek consultation and guidance from your mature friends and family. Familiarize yourself with the concept of acting out.
• Don't hop from relationship to relationship.
• Be careful not to become engaged or remarried too soon.
• Attend responsibly to the basic needs of your children.
• Create a balanced life for yourself.